Poem: Cliché with a revised version.

Simply enough, we had an assignment in class (the people in my class already know this), finally kicking off our Poetry unit.

"Create a Love poem, a version dripping with clichés, and a version that could be a real poem using no clichés at all."

This first one is my Cliché poem:

I love you, but our love is forbidden.
Love conquers all,

but if you love someone, set them free.
You only hurt the ones you love, and I was unlucky in cards, lucky in love.
We were young and in love, puppy love to be exact.
The love we shared was blind. You lived to love, but there’s a thin line between love and hate.
When I polished the wings on your back, it was a labor of love.
But love is like a rose: it always bites back.
But remember, it’s better to have love and lost, then to have never loved at all.

Pretty slimy and sticky isn't it?
Now, here's my revised version (and YES I used a Thesaurus in certain areas. It's pretty obvious)

The lust that exists between us cannot be denied, but cannot be fulfilled.
The state of Affection may be the controller, but must unfetter the city of Life.
This capricious sensation harms those that bestow the quintessence of compassion.
Adolescent in mind and soul, our decisions were governed by our faultless correlation.
Our normal eyes were unfeasible from our first-person perception, and thus doomed us to impracticable sensations.
The feathery wings stuck onto your virtuous back were polished in the fluid of my passion towards thy.
But our long rapport of both yearning for adoration and analogous dreams falls short of the higher branches and thus dissociation is inevitable for an ambiance of totality.
Do not disregard the foremost indication, though: Would you desire to live, and not know, or to know and recognize the reality?

Enjoy, and perhaps see new clichéd versions in the future. They won't be actual serious pieces, just some fun corruption.

Ciao!